PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?
BILL KURTIS: Maeve has two.
MAEVE HIGGINS: Yes.
KURTIS: Eugene has three. And Peter has four.
SAGAL: OK, Maeve. That means you're up first, so fill in the blank. On Sunday, a judge blocked the White House's attempt to end blank benefits for 700,000 people.
HIGGINS: Army? Something...
SAGAL: No, no. Food stamp benefits. Food stamp benefits. In his first campaign appearance on behalf of Joe Biden, blank sharply criticized President Trump.
HIGGINS: Michelle Obama's husband.
HIGGINS: Yes, Barack Obama.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday, the Supreme Court ruled that blank could extend their mail-in voting deadline.
HIGGINS: Voters.
SAGAL: No, in Pennsylvania. This week, four men in New Jersey were arrested after it was discovered they were planning to blank.
HIGGINS: Go to New York City.
SAGAL: No, planning to shoot bowling balls out of a cannon. Following Facebook's lead, YouTube announced this week they were banning videos promoting the blank conspiracy theory.
HIGGINS: Fake - fake.
SAGAL: The QAnon conspiracy theory. This week, police in LA...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Failed to catch a man involved in a high-speed chase despite the fact that he blanked halfway through it.
HIGGINS: Fell?
SAGAL: No. Despite the fact that he stopped for gas halfway through the high-speed chase.
HIGGINS: (Laughter) Brave.
SAGAL: They were chasing the man who was in his car after he stole something from a Home Depot. But he built up such a lead, he was able to pull over at a nearby gas station to fill up. And not only that - he didn't even pay at the pump. He went inside and paid in cash in order to get the discount. He ended up losing police again in a parking garage. Officers say they'll try to catch up to him after his trip to the McDonald's drive-through and the eight hours he's going to wait in line to vote. Bill, how did Maeve do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Well, this is hard to believe, but she is tied with Peter for the lead. One right for two more points, and four gives her that tie.
SAGAL: Yay, very well done.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
SAGAL: All right. Eugene, you're up next. Fill in the blank. On Monday, the CDC recommended that all plane and train passengers wear blanks.
EUGENE CORDERO: That they wear masks.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, U.S. officials accused Iran and Russia of attempting to interfere with blank.
CORDERO: With the election, with the vote.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday, an appeals court rejected Ghislaine Maxwell's attempt to keep her deposition in the blank case secret.
CORDERO: Open case?
SAGAL: No, the Jeffrey Epstein case.
CORDERO: Oh, heard of it.
SAGAL: After being accused of stealing election signs, a man in Iowa was caught on camera stealing blank.
CORDERO: Stickers.
SAGAL: No, stealing all the newspapers that reported on him stealing the signs. On Sunday, a new blank in Colorado forced the evacuation of over 3,000 people.
CORDERO: Oh, a new wildfire.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a rapper was arrested for defrauding...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...California's unemployment office after he blanked.
CORDERO: After he dropped an album?
SAGAL: Sort of, but no. He released a music video where he bragged about defrauding California's unemployment agency.
(LAUGHTER)
HIGGINS: Oh, no.
SAGAL: The FBI started to suspect rapper Nuke Bizzle of fraud after he released a music video with lyrics like, you got to sell cocaine. I can just file a claim. And, here's a bullet point list of how I defrauded California for over $1.2 million in unemployment money, which is not only incriminating. It doesn't even rhyme. If convicted, Bizzle would face up to 22 years in prison. But that sentence could be way worse if anyone hears his next single, "Murder Was The Case That They Gave Me Because I Definitely Did The Murder."
CORDERO: Aw, man. Bizzle at least spoke his truth. You know what I mean?
SAGAL: He does.
CORDERO: That's what the rap game is all about.
SAGAL: It is.
HIGGINS: That's beautiful, Eugene. Thank you.
SAGAL: Bill, how did Eugene do in his debut on our show?
KURTIS: He had three right for six more points. He now has nine and the lead.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
SAGAL: All right. Well done, Eugene.
CORDERO: Shoutout to Bizzle.
SAGAL: How many, then, does Peter need to win?
KURTIS: Peter needs three to win.
SAGAL: Oh, that seems easy, Peter. Here we go. Peter, this is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Monday, President Trump called blank's work on the pandemic a, quote, "disaster."
PETER GROSZ: Fauci.
SAGAL: Yes. He also called him an idiot.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, an interview with blank was released in which he said that same-sex couples should be protected under civil union laws.
GROSZ: The pope.
SAGAL: Yes, the pope.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, Purdue Pharma agreed to pay an $8.3 billion settlement for their part in the blank crisis.
GROSZ: The opioid.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday...
GROSZ: All these answers are going to be Italian-style.
SAGAL: Yes. On Tuesday, former RNC chair Michael Steele announced he was endorsing blank for president.
GROSZ: (Imitating Italian accent) Joe Biden.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: According to a new report, the iPhone 12 Pro is so expensive in India that if you live there, it's cheaper to blank.
GROSZ: (Imitating Italian accent) Order food from Italy.
HIGGINS: (Laughter).
SAGAL: No, to fly to Dubai, purchase one there and then fly back. On Monday, the U.S. blank at an all-time high of $3.1 trillion.
GROSZ: The debt.
SAGAL: I'll give it to you.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: It's the deficit, not the debt, which is scary.
GROSZ: (Imitating Italian accent) The defichito (ph).
HIGGINS: (Laughter).
SAGAL: On Sunday, Jacinda Ardern won her second term as the prime minister of blank.
GROSZ: (Imitating Italian accent) New Zealand.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a virtual paleontology conference...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Got off on the wrong foot when the hosting software kept blanking.
GROSZ: (Imitating Italian accent) It fell in the marinara.
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: No, the hosting software - the hosting conference software for the paleontology conference kept censoring the word bone. When the annual conference of the Society of Vertebrate Paleontology went virtual this month, the scientists thought the hardest part would be trying to dig a pit with a laptop. But the real problem was the text function's built-in censor, which replaced the word bone whenever you typed it in the chat with four asterisks. It was frustrating at first. But, eventually, the scientists found they could get around it by replacing bone with its synonym as in, that's a very interesting Allosaurus make love to.
GROSZ: (Laughter) That's like a 12-year-old boy was like, bone, and he was the person who was in charge of it, yeah.
CORDERO: (Snickering).
SAGAL: Bill, did Peter do well enough to win?
KURTIS: Yes, he did. Six right for 12 more points. That means with 16, he is this week's champion.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
SAGAL: Congratulations, Peter. Well done.
GROSZ: Thank you. Wow. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.