About 44% of childless adults between 18 and 49 are saying they are not too likely or not at all likely to have children someday, according to a 2021 Pew Research Study. That number has grown from 37% in 2018, and the most cited reason?
They just don’t want any.
Host Anita Rao talks with three women about their decision to choose a child-free life and common questions and misconceptions they come up against: Samhita Mukhopadhyay, a writer and former executive editor of Teen Vogue; Uriah Rex, a quality assurance representative; and Sarah Deavitt, a certified holistic nutritionist.
Anita also speaks with Merle Bombardieri, a parenting decision-making coach and psychotherapist, about strategies and tactics she gives people who are on the fence about becoming parents. Merle is also the author of “The Baby Decision: How To Make the Most Important Choice of Your Life.”
Special thanks to Cara, Philip and the other listeners who contributed to this episode!
Please note: A portion of this conversation originally aired in December 2020.
Kid or No Kid? Strategies for Parenting Decision-Making
If you’re on the fence about parenting but struggling with making a decision, here are some tactics that coach and psychotherapist Merle Bombardieri employs in her practice.
‘Stealing From the Other Choice’
Say you’re leaning towards a child free life … but you love reading with young kids and worry about missing out on that. Connect with loved ones who are having kids and get actively involved in their lives. Volunteer with a local school or local library. Structure your life to include the things you feel you would miss out on.
‘The Chair Technique’
Set up two chairs, each one representing a side of the argument and debate with yourself. An extra tip from Merle: “Don't let them be polite.” Really argue it out, and one voice will start to grow stronger. The other voice will clue you in to doubts you have and what you need to steal from the other choice to feel satisfied.
Journal with Different Inks
Similar to the chair technique, write out your thoughts on the decision but use different ink for either side of the argument. Watch as your thoughts evolve over time and one color grows more dominant in a journal on the topic.
