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When people who fled violence and persecution come to a new country as refugees, the toll of what they've experienced can haunt them for a long time, even after they're physically safe. Children are especially vulnerable. NPR's Rhitu Chatterjee has a story of a boy and his family who fled Afghanistan and who are now settled in the U.S.
RHITU CHATTERJEE, BYLINE: Hello.
MUJIB UR RAHMAN: Hello. How are you today, good?
CHATTERJEE: I'm good. How are you?
MUJIB: I'm good.
CHATTERJEE: My name is Rhitu.
MUJIB: My name is Mujib.
CHATTERJEE: Nice to meet you, Mujib.
I meet 12-year-old Mujib Ur Rahman at his new home - a small, sparsely furnished apartment in Lewiston, Maine. He moved here in January with his parents and an older brother. The brothers grew up in Afghanistan's third-largest city, Herat, where they have a house with a big garden where they grew fruits and vegetables. Mujib remembers spending most of the summer evenings doing the thing he loved most.
MUJIB: (Through interpreter) After I came home from school, I would play with kites on the roof of my house.
CHATTERJEE: Often participating in kite fighting, a beloved tradition in Afghanistan where people try to cut others' kite strings with their own and set the others' kite free. Mujib beams as he brags about how most of his neighbors feared his kite-fighting skills.
MUJIB: (Through interpreter) When they saw me flying kites, they would take down their kites. There was one who rivaled my skill. I could never free his kite. We were in competition.
CHATTERJEE: But life as Mujib knew it came to a halt in 2021 when the Taliban took control of the country.
MUJIB: (Through interpreter) They did a lot of scary things right in front of people's eyes - for example, hitting and stabbing people with knives. I thought they would come to my home and arrest me and beat me too.
CHATTERJEE: Mujib's mother, Khadija Rahmani, worked as a nurse and women's rights advocate. Part of her job was to identify an advocate for girls and women who were forced into marriage or were victims of domestic violence. And that made her a target for the Taliban.
KHADIJA RAHMANI: (Through interpreter) They searched our home several times. And I went to neighbor's house to hide. They were searching my house and ruined all my stuff, our beds, clothes. They destroyed everything.
CHATTERJEE: So she, her husband and her two younger sons, Mujib and his then 17-year-old brother, Munib, stayed in hiding at a relative's house, constantly weary.
RAHMANI: (Through interpreter) We didn't sleep all the time. We were scared. When there was any noise, we were thinking how to run from home. For example, if the Taliban came from this side, how could we jump over the wall and run?
CHATTERJEE: Finally, in 2023, they received permission to leave the country with her two youngest sons. Earlier this year, they arrived in Lewiston, Maine, a city now home to a few resettled communities, including Somali and Bhutanese. With help from the local community, the Rahmanis found their rental apartment in a three-story New England house.
RAHMANI: (Non-English language spoken).
CHATTERJEE: Serving cardamom-flavored tea and dried apricot and almonds in a living room, Khadija says she's grateful to be here.
RAHMANI: (Through interpreter) We thank God a thousand times that we can start our life anew here.
CHATTERJEE: But the chronic stress of the past few years still haunts them.
RAHMANI: (Through interpreter) My husband and I stayed awake until 1:30 to 2 or 3 o'clock at night because I still have that trauma from Taliban's regime in my brain.
CHATTERJEE: And 12-year-old Mujib has struggled the most. Khadija says he's easily triggered by sudden noises.
RAHMANI: (Through interpreter) He gets pale. His breathing gets hard. He panics and tries to run out of the house. Once there was a knock on the door, and he started crying. His face turned yellow.
CHATTERJEE: She says school has also filled him with anxiety.
RAHMANI: (Through interpreter) He said to me, Mother, I don't want to go to school. Everyone's bullying me. I don't like this school. I don't understand the language, and I don't understand at all.
CHATTERJEE: And that's to be expected, says Theresa Betancourt.
THERESA BETANCOURT: The responses that you see in a young boy like that, those are expectable when you've been through the sort of frightening, traumatic events that he's been through.
CHATTERJEE: Betancourt directs the research program on children and adversity at Boston College.
BETANCOURT: We know from years of research now that children exposed to violence, separation and loss due to armed conflict and forced migration have elevated risks for problems with depression, anxiety, traumatic stress reactions and even challenges with trust and social interactions.
CHATTERJEE: She says children who've lost a parent or been separated from them suffer the most. But it can be difficult for kids like Mujib too, because their parents are often struggling as well.
BETANCOURT: Parents may feel stigma in mentioning their own struggles with problems like depression or anxiety, and they may be concerned about discussing their child's emotional, behavioral problems too.
CHATTERJEE: And they're overwhelmed as they try to adapt to a new country, just like Mujib's parents.
RAHMANI: (Through interpreter) And I actively looking for work, so we can have the money to run the family.
CHATTERJEE: Khadija and her husband recently got part-time jobs at a FedEx packaging facility. She wants to work as a nurse again, but she needs to be fluent in English first.
RAHMANI: (Through interpreter) We have to learn this language, because we have a hard time not knowing the language.
CHATTERJEE: Despite their own stress, Khadija and her husband have been trying to support Mujib. She tries to boost Mujib's confidence so he feels better about going to school.
RAHMANI: (Through interpreter) To motivate him, I say no one is better than you. No one is more handsome than you.
CHATTERJEE: She's been trying to help with his English lessons and reassuring him that they are safe here. But she says he's still hypervigilant.
RAHMANI: (Through interpreter) He figured out that this house has two exits. One of them is for escaping.
CHATTERJEE: In case someone breaks in. But he has made progress towards settling into his new life. Mujib says he's starting to enjoy school.
MUJIB: (Through interpreter) I like learning English. I like playing soccer. I also like the gym. I like all sorts of things.
CHATTERJEE: He's even made new friends, a big step in this major transition. But he's still homesick.
MUJIB: (Through interpreter) The first thing that I miss is our garden, the rest of my family, my land, my home and my dog.
CHATTERJEE: More than anything, he misses flying kites, so much that he sometimes even cries about it.
Rhitu Chatterjee, NPR News.
(SOUNDBITE OF GUSTAF LJUNGGREN'S "LEADING SOMEWHERE") Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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