PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can - each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?
BILL KURTIS: Negin has two. Adam has two. And Mo has four.
SAGAL: Oh, my gosh. So Negin and Adam are tied for second. I'm going to arbitrarily choose Negin to go first. Here we go.
NEGIN FARSAD: OK.
SAGAL: Negin, the clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in that blank. On Wednesday, the Justice Department announced an investigation into policing practices in blank.
FARSAD: Minneapolis PD.
SAGAL: Minneapolis, Minn. That's right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, President Biden announced plans to cut U.S. blank emissions in half by 2030.
FARSAD: Carbon emission.
SAGAL: Yeah, carbon or greenhouse gases.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, Pfizer said that they had discovered fake blank doses in Mexico and Poland.
FARSAD: Vaccine doses?
SAGAL: Right, yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday, the retail union attempting to organize blank's workers in Alabama claimed the company illegally interfered with their vote.
FARSAD: Amazon?
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: For a second week in a row, blank claims fell more than expected.
FARSAD: Job unemployment claims.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a poacher in South Africa...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Was prevented from killing any rhinos after he snuck into a national park and was promptly blanked.
FARSAD: He was promptly given a parade.
ADAM BURKE: (Laughter).
SAGAL: No, he was promptly trampled by a stampede of elephants.
FARSAD: Oh, God.
SAGAL: So now we've learned that elephants never forget and never forgive after officials at the Kruger National Park in South Africa found the pancaked poacher in the heart of the park. It's hard to know if the elephants trampled him intentionally. But rangers do say that the tracks show that they did that thing where they ran over him, and then they reversed and they ran over him again, just to be sure.
FARSAD: It's dark.
SAGAL: It's true, though. Bill, how did Negin do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Negin has five right for 10 more points. She now has 12 and moves into the lead.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
SAGAL: All right. Well done. Next up is Adam. Please fill in the blank. On Thursday, the House passed a bill that would grant statehood to blank.
BURKE: Washington, D.C.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: According to a new report, the CDC is close to resuming distribution of blank's vaccine.
BURKE: Johnson & Johnson.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, Derek Chauvin was found guilty on all charges in the murder of blank.
BURKE: George Floyd.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, Senator Murkowski joined Democrats to confirm Vanita Gupta to a position in the blank.
BURKE: Oh, in the attorney general's office?
SAGAL: Yeah, Department of Justice. That's good.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: During a commercial promoting a new nationwide weapons amnesty program, Czech police joked you could even turn in a tank, but they were still surprised when someone blanked.
BURKE: Turned in a tank.
SAGAL: Of course.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, the White House announced it was ending a Trump-era challenge to blank's auto emission standards.
BURKE: The EPA's?
SAGAL: No, California's.
BURKE: Oh.
SAGAL: On Tuesday, the USDA said it would extend its free blank program for school students through June of 2022.
BURKE: Free lunch?
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a jogger running in the...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Grand Tetons avoided a bear attack by blanking.
BURKE: Proposing marriage.
SAGAL: No, he did it by reasoning calmly with the bear. The jogger felt...
BURKE: That's the correct answer, Peter.
SAGAL: (Laughter) The jogger caught the whole thing on video. And in it, you can see that the bear steps out of the woods and starts to approach him, to which the jogger says, hey, no, I am not your food. And his car was over half a mile away, and he continues to move away from the bear, talking to the bear the entire time, talking it out of an attack. Eventually, he convinces the bear to leave him alone by asking if it wanted to be a guest on his podcast.
(LAUGHTER)
BURKE: Was that bear, by any chance, wearing a little green hat and a tie? 'Cause it does sound smarter than the average bear.
SAGAL: The average bear, yes.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Adam do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Adam had six right for 12 more points. He now has 14 and the lead.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
SAGAL: All right. And how many then does Mr. Rocca need to win?
KURTIS: Six to win, five to tie.
SAGAL: All right. Mo, here we go. This is for the game. On Monday, the White House announced that every adult in the U.S. was now eligible for blank.
MO ROCCA: For a vaccination.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, it was reported that Russia would begin to withdraw troops from their border with blank.
ROCCA: Ukraine.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, India set a global one-day record for new blank cases.
ROCCA: Coronavirus.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, over a thousand people in Russia were arrested while protesting the treatment of Putin critic blank.
ROCCA: Navalny.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Even though he was hired in 2005, a man in Italy is now being accused by his employer of not blanking in 15 years.
ROCCA: Showing up to work.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: After hitting a record high of $64,000 last week, cryptocurrency blank dropped over 20%.
ROCCA: Bitcoin.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Best-known as Jimmy Carter's vice president, blank of Minnesota passed away at the age of 93.
ROCCA: Walter Mondale.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, in an attempt...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...To get a full month of marriage leave, a man in Taiwan blanked his wife.
ROCCA: Divorced and remarried her.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: But what he did was he married her, then divorced her, then married her, then divorced her, then married her, then divorced her and then married her again. In Taiwan, employers are required to provide eight days of marriage leave to all newlyweds. But the man thought he could game the system by marrying and divorcing his wife three times in three days. Sadly, his employers caught on and only granted them the eight days. Even worse, his wife refused to marry him a fourth time, saying, sorry, you've already been divorced three times. Clearly, you've got commitment issues.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Mo do on our quiz? Did he do well enough to win?
ROCCA: Very well.
KURTIS: He got eight right for 16 more points. That means he does win with a total of 20. And he's the champion.
SAGAL: Oh, my gosh, Mo. Congratulations, Mo.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
FARSAD: Corruption.
SAGAL: Yay.
BURKE: Well done, well done. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.