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Lightning Fill In The Blank

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth 2 points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Gabe and Amy you each have 3. Adam has 2.

SAGAL: All right.

AMY DICKINSON: Oh.

SAGAL: So, Adam, you are in third place. You'll start. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank, Adam. This week, Turkish police detained at least 13 people following the attack on an airport in blank.

ADAM BURKE: In Istanbul.

SAGAL: Right. This week, the Senate...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Passed a debt relief bill for blank.

BURKE: For Puerto Rico.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, a new study published in Science said that the hole in blank would be gone by 2060.

BURKE: Oh, the ozone layer...

SAGAL: Right.

BURKE: ...Over the Antarctic.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, Pope Francis said that the Catholic Church should ask for forgiveness from blank.

BURKE: Gay people and...

SAGAL: Yeah.

BURKE: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to the Albany Times Union newspaper, blank is polling well against both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump.

BURKE: Beelzebub (ph).

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A giant life-ending meteor.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Wednesday...

BURKE: Called Beelzebub.

DICKINSON: So close.

SAGAL: On Wednesday, blank became the first male swimmer to qualify for five different Olympic Games.

BURKE: Michael Phelps.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the NFL suspended former Cleveland Browns quarterback blank for violating the league's drug policy.

BURKE: Johnny Manziel or whatever his name is.

SAGAL: That's his name.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Manziel. This week, a couple in Wisconsin called 911 to report they were being held hostage by blank.

BURKE: A Roomba.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Their cat.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

BURKE: Oh.

GABE LIEDMAN: Curses.

SAGAL: First, they learn physics. Then they get a gun.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, this couple called 911 and said quote, "this is going to sound like a strange question, but we have a cat and it's going crazy. And we're kind of a hostage in our house. And we're just wondering who we should call to do something."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And the dispatcher was very sympathetic and sent over an animal control person. There was a very difficult four-and-a-half-hour negotiating session, which finally ended when the guy just did a laser pointer on the floor and that was...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They always fall for that. Bill, how did Adam do in our quiz?

KURTIS: He got six right for 12 more points. He has a total of 14 now.

BURKE: Oh.

SAGAL: Well done.

KURTIS: And the lead.

SAGAL: OK.

KURTIS: Hard to catch.

LIEDMAN: Wow.

DICKINSON: Adam, I think I knew one of those.

BURKE: OK.

DICKINSON: That was...

SAGAL: Well, you lucked out then.

DICKINSON: Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

SAGAL: Well, we have flipped a coin. Gabe has elected to go next. Fill in the blank. On Monday, the Supreme Court struck down Texas restrictions on blank.

LIEDMAN: Abortion.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, Iraqi forces announced they had fully recaptured Fallujah from blank.

LIEDMAN: ISIS?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Nate Silver predicted that blank has a 19 percent chance of being elected president.

LIEDMAN: Trump.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Senate Democrats blocked a spending bill that included $1.1 billion in blank funding.

LIEDMAN: Zika.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, officials in Pennsylvania released an advisory to government employees requesting that they please don't blank their governor.

LIEDMAN: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

LIEDMAN: Kiss him?

SAGAL: No. That they don't hang up on him. He places his own calls and people think it's a prank.

LIEDMAN: Oh, that's cute.

SAGAL: On Monday, Chicago raised the legal age to buy blank to 21.

LIEDMAN: Cigarettes.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a 48-year-old man in Idaho was mortified to discover that his dad had blanked.

LIEDMAN: Oh, turned into a big tree.

SAGAL: No. That his dad had taken out a full-page ad in the local paper in order to find his son a wife.

(LAUGHTER)

LIEDMAN: Oh, bad dad.

SAGAL: Yeah, bad dads do all kinds...

LIEDMAN: Come on.

SAGAL: We dads do all kinds of embarrassing things. We wear cellphone holsters on our waist. Sometimes dads say embarrassing things, like, if I wasn't Ivanka father I'd be dating her.

LIEDMAN: Right.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: But this 78-year-old man named Arthur Brooks (ph) took out a full-page ad in the paper written to look like his son had placed it, in the first person. It says, quote...

LIEDMAN: No.

SAGAL: "I am looking for a wife who is ready, willing and able to have children as soon as possible."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The son didn't know about the ad until it was already in the newsstands, at which point he bought his own ad in the same paper, 48-year-old orphan looking for sane parent.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Oh, boy.

SAGAL: Oh, boy.

DICKINSON: Oh, boy.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Gabe do in our quiz?

KURTIS: He got five right, 10 more points, total of 13, one behind Adam.

LIEDMAN: (Growling).

SAGAL: All right. Well, how many then does Amy need to come from behind and take this thing?

KURTIS: Six to win.

SAGAL: Here we go, Amy. This is for the game. On Tuesday, a GOP-led committee issued their final report on the 2012 attack in blank.

DICKINSON: Benghazi.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the Pentagon lifted its ban on blanks serving in the military.

DICKINSON: Transgenders.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, California officials announced that legalizing blank would be included on November's ballot.

DICKINSON: Marijuana.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the Supreme Court voted to vacate the conviction of Bob McDonnell, the former governor of blank.

DICKINSON: Virginia.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A woman in Maine who entered a house and said I came to commit a felony was disappointed this week when blank.

DICKINSON: It was knocked down to a misdemeanor.

SAGAL: Exactly, right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, former University of Tennessee women's basketball coach blank passed away at the age of 64.

DICKINSON: Pat Summitt.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to new evidence found by the Daily Mail newspaper, the rightful king of England is blank.

DICKINSON: The rightful king of England is a floppy-haired corgi named...

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: What?

SAGAL: No. The rightful king of England is some dude living in Utah.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: No kidding.

LIEDMAN: Wow.

SAGAL: So they recently unearthed these documents about King George IV and they suggest that his direct descendant might be this gay ex-Mormon living in Utah.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: Awesome.

LIEDMAN: Yes.

SAGAL: So it's amazing. Think of this guy. He's just living in Utah - living in Provo and all of a sudden - my God. He's the king of England. He goes over to England. He looks around and he says I'm going back to Provo.

(LAUGHTER)

LIEDMAN: Yeah.

BURKE: See you. He's going to come over just as soon as his dragons are fully sized.

SAGAL: Exactly.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Then he'll seize the throne. Bill, did Amy do well enough to win?

KURTIS: She got six right. Twelve more points gives her a total and the win at 15.

LIEDMAN: Wow.

SAGAL: There you go, Amy Dickinson.

DICKINSON: (Cheering).

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists to predict how will Britain Bit-turn (ph) to the European Union. How will they convince the EU to take them back. But first, let me tell you that support for NPR comes from NPR stations and AT&T, with a network and solutions for helping companies sense and adapt to meet the demands of business. Discover the power of and with AT&T. CarMax, offering more than 40,000 used cars and trucks online and in store with over 150 locations from coast to coast. Learn more at carmax.com. CarMax, the bright side of car buying. And Lumber Liquidators, a proud sponsor of NPR, offering more than 400 styles, including hardwood, bamboo, laminate and vinyl, with flooring specialist and hundreds of stores nationwide. More at lumberliquidators.com or 1-800-HARDWOOD.

WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philipp Goedicke writes our limericks. Our house manager is Mr. Don Hall. The assistant house manager is Tyler Greene. Our intern is the scarecrow and Mrs. Lillian King. Our web guru is Beth Novey. Special thanks to the crew here at Chase Bank. BJ Leiderman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Robin Lynn and Miles Dorboss. Technical directions from Lorna White. Out CFO is Ann Nguyen. Our production coordinator, that's Robert Neuhaus. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag and the executive producer of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is Michael Linwood Danforth. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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