If you're looking for a night out dancing but also value a good night's sleep, there's a party in Durham that has you covered. ADULTING is an early evening dance party run by Sarah Honer, who goes by the stage name DJ Fifi Hi-Fi, and her partner Mike D that takes place at Rubies on Five Points.
With the tag line "Dance all night, in bed by 11," ADULTING started off as a monthly event but has now expanded to bi-weekly, every 2nd and 4th Saturday. Doors open at 7pm and Honer says that there's no big build up; the fun starts right then.
"What people get at ADULTING is an immediate dance party," she said. "We have the disco ball on. We have it dark. In the summer months, when it's still light out at seven, we pull all the shades to make it really dark. We've got the whole vibe going." Everything wraps up at 10pm.
Honer says that at an average ADULTING, you'll hear music from across different genres and decades. "It's like if you're at a wedding, and the wedding DJ is awesome," she said. "You'll hear Robyn and you'll hear The Jackson Five. You'll get your Nelly and you'll also get Doja Cat."
The idea for an adult dance party initially came from Maria Ellis, whose husband Shawn Stokes is a co-owner of Rubies. In the two years since then, Honer has taken over the parties with help from her DJ partner Mike D and a rotating cast of other locals like VSPRTN and AYO VIP. Honer says they try to keep the dancefloor a phone-free environment so people can focus on the moment.
"It's a joyous crowd. They are all very grateful to be there. And you feel that as the DJ," she said. "I have had some of the most fun DJing before 10 p.m. because there is so much gratitude for being in a group and dancing that early."
Jenny Badman is one of those grateful attendees. She says that being at ADULTING has given her catharsis and also helped her connect with a long time friend who was there with her.
"I realized in more than 15 years of friendship, we’d never danced together. Once the initial self-consciousness wore off, we got lost in the music and it was fantastic," she said. "We danced until we were sweat soaked, moving to our internal rhythms but also with the energy of those packing the dance floor with us. For me, given the current state of the world, dancing feels like resistance, like joy."
Another thing that makes ADULTING so special is the location itself. Rubes on Five Points is one of downtown Durham's most unique clubs. Once you're through the door, you climb a sticker-covered staircase that gives the venue an air of mystery and makes it feel like you're stepping into a portal and away from whatever reality you were just in. Honer says that the staff at Rubies gives her and her fellow DJs total creative license, and they often play along with whatever theme she's cooked up by creating on-brand drink specials and helping out with decorations.
"We threw a "Pink Pony Vampire" party, and what does that even mean? I don't know, but they were fully on board with it."
Not every ADULTING has a special theme, but a lot of them do. Coming up on November 8 it's Mustache Night. "Grow it, stick it on, or draw it - show us your inner mustache persona" the description on the website reads. In the past they've had theme nights based around popular artists like Prince and Charli XCX.
Theme or no theme, the goal for ADULTING is always the same. Honer wants every party that she and her crew throws to be a memorable one.
"We always try to bring an experience, especially for people who are older and haven't been out partying in a long time. Before 10 p.m. they'll have danced and sweated and had a few drinks of their choice. There's lots of singing along and people forget that it's not midnight or later."
