PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer, of course, is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?
BILL KURTIS: Brian has two. Jessi has three. And Maz has three.
SAGAL: All right. Brian, you're in third place. You'll be up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, President Trump signed a bill temporarily preventing a blank.
BRIAN BABYLON: TikTok ban.
SAGAL: No, a government shutdown in this case. Hours before Tuesday's debate, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris both released their 2019 blanks.
BABYLON: Tax returns.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Tens of thousands of people in California's wine country were forced to evacuate as blanks continued to spread.
BABYLON: Fires.
SAGAL: Yeah, wildfires.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, police in Florida who were called to investigate someone threatening to shoot somebody instead found blank.
BABYLON: A TV on.
SAGAL: I'm going to give it to you.
BABYLON: It was a man yelling, shoot, shoot while watching a hockey game. On Thursday, General Stanley McChrystal endorsed blank for president.
BABYLON: Joe Biden.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday, the Tampa Bay Lightning beat the Dallas Stars to win the second blank in the team's history.
BABYLON: Stanley Cup.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, officials in Thailand threatened a tourist...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...With a two-year jail sentence after he was caught blanking.
BABYLON: Chewing gum.
SAGAL: No, posting a bad review of a hotel online. The man was frustrated by a $15 corkage fee that the hotel restaurant charged him for bringing in his own bottle of gin, which is an insane thing to bring to a BYOB restaurant. But, you know, you do you. So he took to TripAdvisor and posted a one-star review of the hotel. He is now facing a two-year prison sentence for breaking Thailand's strict libel laws. But he may actually enjoy his time there as the jail has promised there's no corkage fee for toilet wine.
Bill, how did Brian do on our quiz?
SAGAL: Brian had 5 right - 10 more points. He now has 12 and the lead.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Very good, Brian. All right. I'm just going to arbitrarily choose Jessi to go next because, you know, I'm in charge. Who cares?
JESSI KLEIN: (Laugher) Great.
SAGAL: Here we go, Jessi. You're up next. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, Amy Coney Barrett met with GOP senators on her push to be confirmed for blank.
KLEIN: Supreme Court justice.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Sunday, a federal judge blocked the Trump administration from banning social app blank.
KLEIN: TikTok.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: In the hour following Tuesday's debate, blank's campaign raised over $4 million.
KLEIN: Biden.
KLEIN: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, the Kentucky attorney general was granted a delay on releasing grand jury transcripts in the case of blank.
KLEIN: Breonna Taylor.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a court in the U.K. rejected the case of a man demanding that his parents support him financially, likely because he was blank.
KLEIN: Asleep.
SAGAL: Forty-one years old. On Thursday, merchandise with the phrase stand back and stand by was banned from online giant blank's marketplace.
KLEIN: Amazon.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Following an outbreak of COVID-19, the blank postponed Sunday's game between the Titans and the Steelers.
KLEIN: The NFL.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, realtors in Britain...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Started the promotion to help sell a home, buy the house and get a free blank. No, a free grave.
KURTIS: (Laughter).
SAGAL: Jessi, a free grave.
KLEIN: Cool, cool, cool (laughter).
SAGAL: Real estate agents in Britain were having trouble selling the house because it was located right next to the town cemetery. So they did what any smart realtor would do. They made the house smell like cookies. But when that didn't work, they decided to offer a free grave instead. The plot is the standard 9-foot-by-4-foot area, or, as it's known in real estate circles, a one-bedroom apartment in New York City. Bill, how did Jessi do on our quiz?
KLEIN: Very well - Jessi had six right for 12 more points. She now has 15 and the lead.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: How many, then, does Maz Jobrani need to win?
KURTIS: Maz needs six to tie, seven to win outright.
SAGAL: All right, Maz. You ready to do this?
MAZ JOBRANI: Let's do it.
SAGAL: All right, Maz. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Monday, the worldwide death toll for blank surpassed 1 million people.
JOBRANI: Coronavirus.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: According to a report, ICE is planning raids of so-called blank cities right ahead of the election.
JOBRANI: Sanctuary cities.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: During a Senate hearing this week, FBI Director James Comey defended the investigation into blank's election meddling.
JOBRANI: Russia.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Thursday, the CEO of Moderna said the company's blank wouldn't be ready until spring of next year.
JOBRANI: Vaccine.
SAGAL: Right. On Wednesday, it was revealed that the White House had blocked a CDC order to keep blanks docked.
JOBRANI: Keep blanks docked - oh, the cruise ships.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Citing massive losses at their theme parks, blank announced they were laying off 28,000 employees.
JOBRANI: Disney.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, the staff at the University of Alabama...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Had to post a sign in the school's elevators reminding students not to blank.
JOBRANI: Not to fart.
SAGAL: No, not to, quote, "push the buttons with their genitalia."
JOBRANI: That's close.
SAGAL: You know how it is in college. You're going from class to class. Your hands are full of books. That means there's only one way to hit the fourth-floor button. Apparently, the problem had gotten so bad that the University of Alabama had to warn students that cameras were watching them - really makes you pine for the good, old days when every elevator had an attendant who would ask which floor you're heading to and then press the button for you using their genitalia. Bill, did Maz do well enough to win?
SAGAL: Well, he had six right - 12 more points. That means he's got 15, and Jessi has 15. They are co-champions.
KLEIN: Yes.
SAGAL: Congratulations. Yay.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
KLEIN: Bring Brian into it, all of us. We're all winners.
SAGAL: Everybody wins. Everybody wins. the ambassador won. You won. I won. It's awesome. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.