PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Now it's time to move on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can - each correct answer now worth 2 points. Bill, can you give us the scores?
BILL KURTIS: Luke and Mo each have 2. Roxanne has 3.
SAGAL: Of course she does.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: We have flipped a coin, and Mo has elected to go first. So, Mo, the clock will start when I begin your first question, fill in the blank. On Thursday, CNN hosted a Democratic debate ahead of the big primary in blank?
MO ROCCA: The debate was in New York.
SAGAL: Yes, it was.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday, Goldman Sachs agreed to a $5 billion settlement over claims that they mislead investors about risky blank.
ROCCA: The prime - the mortgages.
SAGAL: Yes, indeed.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, the governor of Tennessee vetoed a bill making the blank the official state book.
ROCCA: The Bible.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a 6.5-magnitude earthquake shook off the southern coast of blank.
ROCCA: Oh, I believe that that was Japan.
SAGAL: It was, Mo.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a programmer in the U.K. said that he miswrote one line of code and managed to blank.
ROCCA: To - he managed to shut down the internet...
SAGAL: No.
ROCCA: ...In a portion of England.
SAGAL: No, he deleted his entire company.
ROCCA: Oh.
(LAUGHTER, GROANS)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, a Texas judge sentenced Ethan Couch, the so-called blank teen, to two years in prison.
ROCCA: The affluenza teen.
SAGAL: That's the guy.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Thursday, New York became the last state to remove it's ban on professional blank fighting.
ROCCA: Professional cockfighting.
SAGAL: No.
ROCCA: Oh, no, professional people fighting, professional gun fighting, professional sword fighting.
SAGAL: No, it's mixed martial arts - like, Ultimate Fighting Championship.
ROCCA: Damn it.
SAGAL: This week, a California man was sentenced to 20 years in prison for starting...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...A 10,000-acre wildfire because he wanted a blank.
ROCCA: He - he wanted somebody to - what's the expression - the romantic - like, to keep the flame alive, like, to keep...
(LAUGHTER)
ROCCA: He wanted someone to light a cigarette for him.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: No, what he wanted was a fire selfie, right?
ROCCA: Oh.
SAGAL: Wayne Allen Huntsman has now been sentenced to 20 years in prison for setting the forest fire - five for starting the wildfire, and 15 for doing serious duck face in the selfie.
LUKE BURBANK: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Mo do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Mo got five right, 10 more points. He has a total of 12 and takes over the lead.
SAGAL: All right, very - that was a good round, Mo.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Luke, you're up next, fill in the blank. This week, Florida State attorneys announced they were dropping the battery charges against blank's campaign manager.
BURBANK: Donald Trump.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, authorities raided the offices of Mossack Fonseca, the law firm at the heart of the blank scandal.
BURBANK: Panama papers?
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, Jeff Merkley became the first senator to endorse blank for president.
BURBANK: Bernie Sanders.
SAGAL: Yes, indeed.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, CIA director John Brennan said his agency would never again use blank as an interrogation method.
BURBANK: Waterboarding.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Starbucks has apologized after a Florida employee wrote blank on a customer's grande white mocha receipt.
BURBANK: The amount of calories in the drink?
SAGAL: Oh, it was even better. They wrote on the grande white mocha receipt - diabetes, here I come.
(LAUGHTER)
BURBANK: I was close.
SAGAL: You were.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Not as piquant (ph) though. This week, officials from the CDC confirmed that the blank virus does cause birth defects.
BURBANK: Zika.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Sunday, Danny Willett became the first European to win the blank since 1999.
BURBANK: Masters.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Two customers at a bar in Montana...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Failed to notice an armed robbery was taking place right next to them because they were blank.
BURBANK: Making out.
SAGAL: Yes...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...You knew this, very good.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Security footage recorded during the robbery clearly shows the couple making out while two men with guns enter the bar, stick up the bartender and force him to hand over all the money in the register. The two didn't even realize the robbery was taking place until the police arrived and said, OK, what was stolen? To that the love-struck woman replied, just my heart.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Luke do on our quiz? I think he did pretty well.
KURTIS: Very hot - he is experiencing a hot streak - seven right, 14 more points, total of 16 and the lead.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: I've got to say, Roxanne, I hope you brought game today.
ROXANNE ROBERTS: We'll see.
SAGAL: All right, how many does Roxanne need to win?
KURTIS: She needs seven to win.
SAGAL: All right, this is for the game, Roxanne, fill in the blank. This week, the FBI confirmed that they had paid hackers to help them break right into the San Bernardino shooter's blank.
ROBERTS: iPhone.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, the governor of Louisiana signed an order protecting blank from workplace dissemination.
ROBERTS: Louisiana, workplace discrimination...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Take the shot, Steph.
ROBERTS: Gays.
SAGAL: Yes, gay people.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
ROBERTS: Oh, all right.
SAGAL: On Tuesday, John Kasich...
ROBERTS: That seemed too obvious - OK.
SAGAL: On Tuesday, John Kasich said there was zero chance he would be blank's running mate.
ROBERTS: Donald Trump's.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Thursday, a federal court ruled that the government could collect cellphone-location data without a blank.
ROBERTS: Without a search warrant.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Police in Washington, D.C., say they're currently on the hunt for a thief who broke into a Five Guys restaurant and blanked.
ROBERTS: And he grilled himself a burger.
SAGAL: He grilled himself two burgers, but I'll say you're right anyway.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a federal appeals court restored Utah's ban on blank.
ROBERTS: Polygamy.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: In his final game in the NBA, blank took 50 shots and scored 60 points.
ROBERTS: Kobe Bryant.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday, authorities in New Zealand revealed that blank...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Made a daring midnight escape from custody.
ROBERTS: Inky the octopus...
SAGAL: Yes, you are right.
ROBERTS: ...My favorite...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL, APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: I think she did it.
(APPLAUSE)
ROCCA: She's the Nadia Comaneci of WAIT WAIT.
SAGAL: That was amazing. She nailed the landing. Inky the octopus - according to the zookeepers, Inky the octopus's tank - the cover was left slightly ajar. And sensing the freedom was at hand or at tentacle, Inky crawled out, scooted across the floor and into a drainpipe and from there to the sea. The octopus's handlers say they should have known something was up when Inky's girlfriend brought him a cake with eight nail files inside.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, I think Roxanne did it. Did she do it?
KURTIS: I can't remember anybody doing this - eight straight, 16 more points...
(APPLAUSE)
KURTIS: ...Nineteen (unintelligible)...
ROCCA: Well, let's not overdue it.
KURTIS: Well, it was much more impressive than the Golden Warriors out there.
SAGAL: Yeah, let's see Steph Curry answer questions about Inky the octopus.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict now that Paul Ryan turned them down, who will the GOP turn to as their white knight?
WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago, in association with Urgent Haircut Productions - Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philipp Goedicke writes our limericks. Our intern is (singing) Isabel-Silverbells-It's-Christmas-Time-In-The-Robertson (ph).
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