PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer's worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?
BILL KURTIS: Maeve has three. Tom and Helen each have two.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: We've flipped a coin, and Tom has elected to go first. So, Tom, fill in the blank. On Wednesday, President Trump signed phase one of his trade deal with blank.
TOM BODETT: China.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Thursday, Nancy Pelosi called social media site blank a shameful company that had intentionally misled users.
BODETT: Facebook.
SAGAL: Right. This week, Virginia became...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...The 38th state to pass the blank amendment.
BODETT: Equal rights.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, former National Security Adviser blank filed a motion to withdraw his guilty plea.
BODETT: Flynn.
SAGAL: Yes, Michael Flynn.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: A massive snowstorm in Vancouver led local schools to cancel the scheduled blank.
BODETT: Snow party.
SAGAL: Close enough - snowball fight.
BODETT: Yeah.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: With 11 total nominations, "Joker" led the pack for the 92nd annual blank awards.
BODETT: Oscars.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, "Jeopardy's" Greatest Of All Time tournament was won by blank.
BODETT: Oh, what was his name? It wasn't the Ken Jennings guy. It was the - it was...
SAGAL: No. It was Ken Jennings.
BODETT: Oh, it was.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Border Patrol officers in South Texas say...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...They're struggling to deal with an influx of blank.
BODETT: Tortoises.
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Good guess, though.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Here they come.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: They're still coming.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: This Border Patrol station...
HELEN HONG: Get it?
SAGAL: ...In south Texas is dealing with - they're occupied by 300 vomiting, pooping vultures.
(LAUGHTER)
BODETT: Oh, I'll take the tortoises.
SAGAL: This Border Patrol station has a radio tower. It's in south Texas, and it's become a haven for vultures. Hundreds of them have started to perch on it, poop on it and vomit on it. The Border agents call it a nuisance. But the vultures say it's a gesture of professional respect.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Tom do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Tom had six right, 12 more points, total of 14. He moves into the lead.
SAGAL: All right.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: All right, Helen. You're up next. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, Chuck Schumer said he had enough votes to pass a resolution that would limit the president's war powers against blank.
HONG: Iran.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday, Cory Booker became the latest Democrat to drop his bid for blank.
HONG: President.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Thursday, the Senate approved the USMCA, a new trade deal meant to replace blank.
HONG: NAFTA.
SAGAL: Right. On Tuesday...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...The Supreme Court heard arguments relating to New Jersey's so-called blank gate.
HONG: New Jersey's so-called Jersey-gate.
SAGAL: No, Bridgegate. To help out a coastal town affected by wildfires, the Australian Navy launched a ship to deliver blank.
HONG: Carrots.
SAGAL: No, 800 gallons of beer. On Wednesday...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...NASA confirmed that the 2010s were the blankest decade on record.
HONG: Hottest.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Whitney Houston and the Notorious B.I.G. were among the nominees for the 2020 blank.
HONG: Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: After Carlos Ghosn's daring escape from Japan last week, a company...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...There is warning citizens not to blank.
HONG: Let in strangers into their house?
SAGAL: No, not to hide themselves inside musical instrument cases.
(LAUGHTER)
HONG: What?
SAGAL: Well, Yamaha says that trying to fit your whole body into one of their instrument cases could be dangerous. That's a warning they had to give after the disgraced head of Nissan allegedly fled Japan for Lebanon by hiding in one and then having it put on a plane. It seems uncomfortable to be in a box for that long, but his other option was a Nissan.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Helen do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Well, Helen, you had five right. She has ten more points. With a total of 12, she isn't quite there. Tom's still in the lead.
SAGAL: How many, then, does Maeve need to step up and take it from him?
KURTIS: Six to win, Maeve.
SAGAL: Here we go, Maeve.
MAEVE HIGGINS: No problem.
SAGAL: This is for the game.
(LAUGHTER)
HIGGINS: I'm ready.
SAGAL: You're always ready.
HIGGINS: Yep.
SAGAL: Fill in the blank, Maeve.
HIGGINS: No problem.
SAGAL: No problem.
HIGGINS: Here you go.
SAGAL: On Wednesday, the prime minister of Russia announced he was resigning, allowing blank to further consolidate power.
HIGGINS: Can I just say I don't know this one.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Vladimir Putin.
HIGGINS: What?
SAGAL: Yes.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: On Sunday, the White House revealed they'd reached out to blank to resume nuclear talks.
HIGGINS: Barack Obama.
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: North Korea. This week, Queen Elizabeth and the royal family were entirely supportive of blank's plans to leave the U.K.
HIGGINS: Oh, Prince Philip - or Prince...
(LAUGHTER)
HIGGINS: ...Harry.
SAGAL: I'm going to give it to you, Prince Harry.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Prince Harry and Meghan.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: On Monday, LSU completed a perfect season by defeating Clemson to win their first blank since 2007.
HIGGINS: Basketball.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: No. The answer is football championship. A city in North Carolina has rejected plans for a new solar farm after too many residents complained that it would blank.
HIGGINS: Shine. It would shine too bright.
SAGAL: No. It would...
HIGGINS: The glare.
SAGAL: No, it would suck up all the sunlight.
(LAUGHTER)
HIGGINS: Oh, how (unintelligible).
SAGAL: Despite lukewarm reviews, the ninth movie in the blank saga passed the $1 billion mark on Tuesday.
HIGGINS: Bond?
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: "Star Wars." On Sunday, tennis star blank won her first title in three years.
HIGGINS: Oh, I actually do know this one.
(LAUGHTER)
HIGGINS: Serena Williams.
SAGAL: Yes, Maeve.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: It was Serena Williams.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
HIGGINS: Yes.
SAGAL: Police in Texas were able to identify a vandal...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...This week after pulling a perfect set of fingerprints from blank.
HIGGINS: His hands.
(LAUGHTER)
HIGGINS: You can't argue with that.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: They did do that. But the key to cracking the case...
HIGGINS: No.
SAGAL: ...Maeve...
(LAUGHTER)
HIGGINS: No.
SAGAL: ...Was getting the fingerprints from a slice of cheese.
HIGGINS: What?
SAGAL: The officers at the Carrollton, Texas Police Department were tasked with finding out who covered a local resident's car with slices of cheese.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: They had to call in the CSI team to dust the cheddar for fingerprints.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The result they got was not just gouda, it was great-a (ph).
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: They were able to run it through the system hoping for a match. Meanwhile, the vandal could have gotten away with it if only he'd use Swiss. Their whole case would've been full of holes.
(LAUGHTER)
HIGGINS: But, you know...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Maeve...
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: Maeve got two right.
SAGAL: Yes, Maeve.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
HIGGINS: That's...
SAGAL: (Chanting) Maeve...
HIGGINS: ...Really good.
SAGAL: Maeve, Maeve, Maeve, Maeve.
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: Four more points...
KURTIS: ...Seven total. That means our winner today is Tom Bodett.
SAGAL: There you are, Tom.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.