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Limericks

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924 or click the contact link us on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There, you can find out about attending our weekly live shows back at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, Illinois and our upcoming show in Pittsburg October 16. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.

MEGAN FLORENTINE: Hi, this is Megan Florentine in Nashville, Tennessee.

SAGAL: Hey, how are things in Nashville?

FLORENTINE: Good. They're great.

SAGAL: Now one of the things I love about Nashville is hot chicken. Do you know about hot chicken?

(LAUGHTER)

FLORENTINE: No. I do. I know about it. It's strange, but I've never had it myself because I'm a lifelong vegetarian.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: That a girl.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Really. I mean, it's so good I wonder if there's a workaround. Would you be allowed to just go over and lick it?

(LAUGHTER)

FLORENTINE: Probably. I wouldn't want to.

SAGAL: I understand. Welcome to the show, Megan. Bill Kurtis is going to review three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Are you ready to play?

FLORENTINE: Yes.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: Our artworks, quite often you flee them. But when posted in updates, you see them. Now art councils demand that selfies be banned. Put phones away at the...

FLORENTINE: Museum.

SAGAL: Yes, Museum.

KURTIS: Yes. She got it. She got it.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: She did.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Sir Peter Bazalgette, who is both the chairman of England's art council and the name you'd make up for the chairman of England's art council...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Has proposed a one-hour daily ban on selfies at British museums. Apparently it had become a big problem there. But art museum selfies are the solution to the problem of timeless art getting old and stale. If you thought "Girl With A Pear Earring" was a masterpiece, wait til you see "Girl With A Pearl Earring" with some dude with a nose ring.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: I took a picture of myself in my regular khaki pants, T-shirt outfit that is part of my uniform doing a ballet pose in front of Degas at the Met. And I think that if Mr. Degas were alive and with us, he would've liked it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Zut alors, he'd say.

POUNDSTONE: He'd say what?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It was French, Paula.

LUKE BURBANK: It's actually French for don't take a picture in front of my painting.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: OK, Megan, here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: By standing still, not even glancing, we Buckingham guards are entrancing. I shirked that main duty and wiggled my booty. Now I'm fired for twirling and...

FLORENTINE: Dancing.

SAGAL: Yes, very good. Dancing.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The Buckingham palace guards, we've all seen them. They're famously stonefaced. They don't move no matter what you do or what you say about their hats. But this week, a video got out of a guard twirling and dancing while on sentry duty. The video went viral. His superiors saw it. He got in trouble. He actually almost went to prison for this because if the sentries aren't absolutely focused on guarding the palace, Prince Philip might escape again.

(LAUGHTER)

MAZ JOBRANI: I think it's amazing that that guy felt - he finally felt fabulous with that hat. He's like I'm going for it.

POUNDSTONE: Now is he part of the UK?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Not anymore. All right. Very good, Megan. Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: Go ahead, make a run to the deli and get extra donuts with chili. Now even my gut is making the cut because women like men with a...

FLORENTINE: Belly.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed a belly.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Very good.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Great news guys. Channing Tatum is out. Channing taters is in.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A new study found three out of four women would rather date a man with a belly than one with a sixpack. One hundred percent of women surveyed said they believe men with guts have better personalities than men with great bodies.

JOBRANI: It's obvious that the guy with the belly is going to have more personality, he's got more to talk about. He's like you should've seen what I ate today.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: The guys who work out don't have that much to say. You know, 'cause they go, you know, I worked out today. There was a weight, and I picked it up, and I put it down. I picked it up, and I put it down. After a while, it gets old. You know what I mean?

SAGAL: Yeah.

KURTIS: Hey, let's not over-talk it. Let's just accept it. You know.

BURBANK: Kurtis is like don't blow this for us.

SAGAL: This is going to look great.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Megan do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Megan was perfect. Just another perfect score. Congratulations, Megan.

FLORENTINE: Thank you.

POUNDSTONE: All right, Megan.

FLORENTINE: Thank you very much.

SAGAL: All right. Take care.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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